Home > Jackassery > Just What the Hell Is a Hoffacc[h]ino, Anyway?

Just What the Hell Is a Hoffacc[h]ino, Anyway?

hoffacinoYou may have heard of it.

It’s quite possibly the fundamental underpinning of the entire security industry; a veritable life-source for over-worked security folk.  It’s apparently critical to the success of Cloud, as you can see from the picture to the right.

What is this mystical thing?  The Hoffacchino. Or, Hoffaccino, if you prefer.

You may hear it muttered and wonder “Just what the hell is a Hoffac[h]ino, anyway?”

Go to your local Starbucks and order the following:

The Hoffacc[h]ino

Venti Starbucks Doubleshot on ice. 6 shots, 3 Splenda (can sub sugar,) no classic (syrup,) breve (that’s 1/2 and 1/2 for those of you who don’t speak Strabucktalian.)

I cannot take responsibility for substitutions, because the recipe above took dozens of iterations to perfect for balance acidity, sweetness, caffeine, creaminess and mouth feel.

It’s like an americano over ice (without water to dilute) with splenda and 1/2 and 1/2, and it’s shaken which makes a big difference for some reason.

Now you know.

Everyone groans when they hear it.  Then they try it.  Then they’re hooked.



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  1. May 4th, 2009 at 10:39 | #1

    It would certainly be fun to whip out a post-it note with those instructions on it and have my local barista try it…but not sure I'm "breve" enough to do it yet!

  2. Joshua Corman
    May 15th, 2009 at 04:34 | #2

    Having recently had one of these – they are indeed well balanced, yummy, and stimulatign…

    …what he doesn't tell you is that if you don't eat a cliff bar [or comparable] within x minutes afterward… you can have a full system crash.

    Great seeing you in NYC, Chris!

  3. July 31st, 2009 at 08:35 | #3

    Had my second one this morning. Think I'll finally be able to kick this nasty sleeping habit, plus the barista followed along this time with no problem.

  4. May 24th, 2010 at 04:36 | #4

    Sounds awesome, but I wonder, what's the calorie count?

  5. December 2nd, 2010 at 06:50 | #5

    That sounds like an $8 heart attack.

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