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Visualizing Security: Exploring Digital Via the Analog…

Amrit turned me onto a Network World article titled "12 Ways to Visualize Network Security" in which his analog of security as a cheese grater is featured.

Yup, there’s castles and cars and…

In an attempt to annoy the crap out of everyone, I decided to start spewing out my candidates via twitter (beaker) so as to force as many un-follows as possible. 

Here are some of my off-the-cuffs [remember, these have to fit in < 140 characters]:

  • Security is like Escargot. It’s crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside, and like everything else, should be blamed on the French!
  • Security is like Kimchee…to make it you have to slap it together, bury it and then dig it up when it smells to explain how special it is..
  • Security is like Durian: It’s lousy in airports, stinks when exposed and looks oddly out of place no matter how you slice it…
  • Security is like fertilizer, the more shit you spread around the worse it gets and watering it down only makes it worse
  • Security is like a vibrator, the more you have to use it, the less fun the real business becomes…
  • Security is like weed, homeopathy and faith healing; sometimes nothing beats cutting the tumor out, but faith in snake oils is more fun
  • Security is like a pig; well, ’nuff said.
  • Security is like your ’82 Ford Escort; you can keep telling everyone that it was your mom’s ride & gets good mileage, but everyone knows…
  • Security is like a pomegranate; seriously, who the fuck thought it was a good idea to try THAT!
  • Security is like balut; when crunchy on the outside, chewy in the middle doesn’t work, go crunchy everywhere?  Sweet Jesus.
  • Security is like a vacuum cleaner; both have dirtbags and "suckage" is the primary metric.

Sadly, nobody un-followed and instead I got like 10 new TwitterBots following me instead.  Ain’t that a bitch?


P.S. My man Mogull flung back some fine satirical smackage…nicely played, sir!:


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  1. July 15th, 2008 at 02:44 | #1

    Security is like that little toothpick in your deli sandwich. Most people don't want it; you can hurt yourself if you run into it without paying attention; but it DOES hold the whole thing together.
    Security is like tuna casserole: most people claim not to like it, but it's the first thing they reach for in an emergency, and everyone's got their own One True Recipe for it.
    Damn, now I'm getting hungry.

  2. Anonymous
    July 15th, 2008 at 06:30 | #2

    Security is like —— sex, it seems like a good idea until you're on the receiving end
    {Ed: If you're going to post anonymously because you're not "man" enough to own your lewd comment, at least be smart enough to realize that I can associate comments with IP addresses to which you have previously posted. 😉 I won't out you this time…}

  3. July 15th, 2008 at 08:13 | #3

    Okay, now I'm not hungry any more.

  4. Anonymous
    July 21st, 2008 at 21:37 | #4

    I'm confused about the weed, homeopathy, faith healing point — I mean, weed may or may not cure you, but unlike faith healing or homeopathy its garunteed to get you fucked up…

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