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Horrific Facebook Breach!

I don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes at Facebook.  Perhaps it’s the manifest evils of Beacon victimizing humanity coming back to haunt them, but there’s been a horrific breach over at Facebook.

I just don’t feel safe there any longer.

I joined FB as a number of groups to which I belong and enjoy monitoring decided to leverage the mass pandemonium that is social netgawking and make their information available only on this populist portal.

So I log on today, fully expecting to check my hatching eggs, play a round of scrabulous and explain to yet another aging filipino male "philanthropist" that I’m really not a 16 year old Catholic school girl trolling for a good time when I discovered the harrowing news:

I’d been SuperPoked!

That’s right. 

I was eFingered right after being attacked with a drive-by Vampire tea bagging knee-bar and an inverted trout slap…and some "friend" decided to curse me with a Thunder Pinch and send me a Pink Sock as a gift.

Seriously, what the hell!  When did we start talking like this?  I just mastered Snoop Dogg’s schizzle, yo!  I can’t keep up.

Most of the people that I am FB "friends" with are 30+ years old.  What possible reason would any self-respecting "old person" have for superpoking, trout-slapping or thunder-pinching me?  I’ve tried talking my wife into this stuff and it doesn’t work unless I liquor her up.  How do you think this is going to work on me?


If you can’t figure out how to revert to good old-fashioned email or IM, and speak ‘murican, I don’t want to talk to you.

No more hatching Jack-a-lopes.  No more Roman Candles.  No more Romanian Turtle Wedgies.

Screw this Web2.0 crap.

I’m going to play bowling on my Wii now.


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  1. January 11th, 2008 at 13:09 | #1

    Yo, they're the new emoticons!
    But I agree with you. I'm going to go have a Wii.

  2. January 11th, 2008 at 13:27 | #2

    Great post…..another example of why I trash FB and the likes when friends talk about how great it is. Ugh!

  3. January 14th, 2008 at 07:12 | #3

    At least you're playing Wii bowling and not going real bowling, right? You've come halfway! 🙂

  4. tcstool
    February 18th, 2008 at 08:00 | #4

    Amen! Facebook is quickly overtaking myspace as the "Armpit of the Internet"!

  5. December 29th, 2009 at 04:20 | #5

    And you thought it was leaking before? Now, December 2009, the leak and the security breach is worse than what I ever saw before – and some of it is on purpose… I have a small blog but even there I had to go out and warn people. I have deleted almost all info from FB myself…

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