An Ode To Glass
Augmentation, extension, lensless optics you blink through
Winking gestures, #hashtagged pictures, an earpiece you talk to
It gives you directions, sends you tweets, you’ll hangout!
Wifi and bluetooth, “PEACOCK!” its users all shout
“Don’t diss the tech, man,” the fanbois decree
You’ve nothing to fear…except privacy
They’re a curious bunch, these intrepid explorers
While last week’s cool toys now lay dusty and choreless
Want lunch? Movie review? Need directions? A clue?
You needn’t ask, they’ll just Glass it for you.
They look down when they speak and up when they Glass
Don’t take offense, they’re not being an ass
There’s two planes of existence, “outside Glass” and thus “through”
They live on one side, on the other, there’s you
The worldwide web at you pupil-tips, it sounds quite the perk
Til you end up all cross-eyed, like Steve Martin’s “The Jerk”
Glassdebating on Twitter…it seems to last for hours
Those in technorapture post pics of themselves in showers
The experience, transcendent, it seems quite zen
But the users seem to be just middle-aged white men
We’ve already got Aspies, the socially inept
Now we’ll bear witness with those with whom you’ve slept
They’ll be segregated seating; “Glass OK” and “No Glass”
The have’s and the have-not’s, it’s gonna be crass
As social interaction becomes more and more abstracted,
people wearing Glass will converse with others much distracted
Are you recording? Is that thing on? Are you Googling me as we speak?
At first it seems quite quaint, a parlor trick for geeks
And then as comfort and fashion sense collide and people will withdraw,
alas some good technology, will not seem cool much more
You’ll pull out a smart phone, look like a T-Rex
While a Glasshole whispers snidely “Bet he still codes in hex!”
Those who hold out will proudly boast along with loud retort:
“Hey man, I’m not tethered, this ain’t Minority Report!”
“OK Glass” is a statement, a command, so stop hating.
To some it’s a class thing, a tech thing, to some it’s berating
If your perspective is at just one end of the spectrum,
the schism of your prism could have you kicked in the rectum
At the end of the day, it’s a magnificent tool
some think it obtuse, some think it quite cool
For me and my smartphone with my old school connection
I feel no need for this UX inflection
I have some serious things I’ll say about this after being accosted for my opinions — which I actually researched by having Adrian let me use his Glass.
I’ll talk about that soon.
Oh, and if you haven’t seen these:
…you really ought to