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An Ode To Glass

hoff-glassGoogle Glasses reviewed, often spiced with profanity
A technology, profound, previews dystopic humanity

Augmentation, extension, lensless optics you blink through
Winking gestures, #hashtagged pictures, an earpiece you talk to

It gives you directions, sends you tweets, you’ll hangout!
Wifi and bluetooth, “PEACOCK!” its users all shout

“Don’t diss the tech, man,” the fanbois decree
You’ve nothing to fear…except privacy

They’re a curious bunch, these intrepid explorers
While last week’s cool toys now lay dusty and choreless

Want lunch? Movie review? Need directions? A clue?
You needn’t ask, they’ll just Glass it for you.

They look down when they speak and up when they Glass
Don’t take offense, they’re not being an ass

There’s two planes of existence, “outside Glass” and thus “through”
They live on one side, on the other, there’s you

The worldwide web at you pupil-tips, it sounds quite the perk
Til you end up all cross-eyed, like Steve Martin’s “The Jerk”

Glassdebating on Twitter…it seems to last for hours
Those in technorapture post pics of themselves in showers

The experience, transcendent, it seems quite zen
But the users seem to be just middle-aged white men

We’ve already got Aspies, the socially inept
Now we’ll bear witness with those with whom you’ve slept

They’ll be segregated seating; “Glass OK” and “No Glass”
The have’s and the have-not’s, it’s gonna be crass

As social interaction becomes more and more abstracted,
people wearing Glass will converse with others much distracted

Are you recording?  Is that thing on?  Are you Googling me as we speak?
At first it seems quite quaint, a parlor trick for geeks

And then as comfort and fashion sense collide and people will withdraw,
alas some good technology, will not seem cool much more

You’ll pull out a smart phone, look like a T-Rex
While a Glasshole whispers snidely “Bet he still codes in hex!”

Those who hold out will proudly boast along with loud retort:
“Hey man, I’m not tethered, this ain’t Minority Report!”

“OK Glass” is a statement, a command, so stop hating.
To some it’s a class thing, a tech thing, to some it’s berating

If your perspective is at just one end of the spectrum,
the schism of your prism could have you kicked in the rectum

At the end of the day, it’s a magnificent tool
some think it obtuse, some think it quite cool

For me and my smartphone with my old school connection
I feel no need for this UX inflection

I have some serious things I’ll say about this after being accosted for my opinions — which I actually researched by having Adrian let me use his Glass.

I’ll talk about that soon.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen these:

and

…you really ought to :)

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  1. Dave Walker
    May 20th, 2013 at 04:38 | #1

    I’m amazed at how few people are commenting on Glass as enabling “Gargoyles” from Neal Stephenson’s “Snow Crash” (one of my favourite novels – “The Diamond Age” hasn’t been discussed much in the additive manufacture world either yet, I give it a few months before it crops up big-time).

    Other than poetry, I’d be very interested to see your views on how well it works for spectacle-wearers (and I suspect you wouldn’t be fazed by a request for some info on your glasses prescription, as part of that). While I’m very interested in trying Glass out once it goes General Availability, I’m on a -4.75 / -5.25 dioptre prescription (with minor but weird self-cancelling astigmatism – each eye is astigmatic, but in opposite directions so my brain cancels it) and therefore have some pretty obvious concerns. Weight and front / rear balance on Glass are also important; even with really lightweight lenses, my glasses still put a weight on my nose, and need pushing up from time to time.

    On all the privacy brouhaha, my reckoning is that the final consumer product will also come in a version which doesn’t have a camera (and has no camera aperture in the shell, to reflect this), and I’d expect social reaction so far means that this will be the version most customers will buy. Naturally, early and developer units will include every hardware bell / whistle Google would be thinking of incorporating, as the project is still in the stage of gathering reactions to the fundamental tech and seeing what original things developers can think of, app-wise, to do with it.

    So, mark me down as “not particularly worried, but very interested”:-).

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