Horrific Facebook Breach!
I don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes at Facebook. Perhaps it’s the manifest evils of Beacon victimizing humanity coming back to haunt them, but there’s been a horrific breach over at Facebook.
I just don’t feel safe there any longer.
I joined FB as a number of groups to which I belong and enjoy monitoring decided to leverage the mass pandemonium that is social netgawking and make their information available only on this populist portal.
So I log on today, fully expecting to check my hatching eggs, play a round of scrabulous and explain to yet another aging filipino male "philanthropist" that I’m really not a 16 year old Catholic school girl trolling for a good time when I discovered the harrowing news:
I’d been SuperPoked!
I was eFingered right after being attacked with a drive-by Vampire tea bagging knee-bar and an inverted trout slap…and some "friend" decided to curse me with a Thunder Pinch and send me a Pink Sock as a gift.
Seriously, what the hell! When did we start talking like this? I just mastered Snoop Dogg’s schizzle, yo! I can’t keep up.
Most of the people that I am FB "friends" with are 30+ years old. What possible reason would any self-respecting "old person" have for superpoking, trout-slapping or thunder-pinching me? I’ve tried talking my wife into this stuff and it doesn’t work unless I liquor her up. How do you think this is going to work on me?
If you can’t figure out how to revert to good old-fashioned email or IM, and speak ‘murican, I don’t want to talk to you.
No more hatching Jack-a-lopes. No more Roman Candles. No more Romanian Turtle Wedgies.
Screw this Web2.0 crap.
I’m going to play bowling on my Wii now.